Is solo living in the UK still on for me?

The skeleton of a dead house lizard has nothing to do with what I'm going to write. But in honour of the poor thing I'm going mention about it a bit. I didn't kill it - and I don't know who did. I assumed it was an accident, happened as he was dashing in and out of the room but unfortunately the door was quicker and he was sandwiched in between. Poor thing! Having said that I'm feeling as if I was trapped between the door myself.  

 

Recently, I ask myself, "Do I still believe in my solo living lifestyle?" 

For some unknown reason, this year has been so hard for me. Starting from January, my mum passed away, my dog has been ill and now I've just had an accident!!! yes, I have. Nothing major, I had a fall in my driveway I tripped over my own shoe whilst running after my dog - how silly is that! I don't think any part of body is broken but it's bruised and sored like crazy. And I broke my phone! I seem to break my phone once a year, suppose the universe is trying to tell me that I should not be so attached to the damned phone!

Should I be writing this when I feel miserable? Laying in bed after taking 2 ibuprofen, I ask myself if I am crazy living alone in the UK without my family support. Just to say I have been living alone for 6 years now and so far I've managed fine. 95% of the time I love it and only when something goes wrong - like not feeling well, car has problem, dog is sick, upset with various sorts - then I feel so bloody alone and I wish I had someone. But I know I'm just being silly. Because you can't hook up with someone just because you now and again feel vulnerable. I have friends here who will help out if I really need it - like if I'm not being a manipulative bitch and keep passing the responsibility of taking care of myself. My friend knows my super independent and I don't take advantage from friendship. I think what I'm trying to write is to try to convince and comfort myself that I will be okay. After all, I love myself too much - unless there is someone out there that has a very deep connection with me - I just don't know. 

Anyhow I've come up with new ideas on how to organise my solo life.

1. I will have a cat instead of a dog in future. I love having a dog but I suppose it is too much responsibility for someone living alone with a full time job 

2. I think life has pros and cons. If I want to be here I will have to wholeheartedly accept that I will have to be tough. And I think if I feel miserable sometimes then it isn't a crime, is it? 

10:25 I've been looking through Google's - and I found some interesting articles re: solo living Why living alone is the best, plus a practical guide for how to do it well

 The Psychology of Eating Alone: Mental Health Impacts

Psychology of Living Alone: Thriving in Solitude

I choose to live alone by choice. If I wanted to have a partner I could actively look for someone but I don't want to. In a way, life has its up and down, whether you are single or married - just focus on the positive side of what you choose and if what you choose still makes you feel miserable then perhaps something needs adjusting.

Not sure if it's the ibuprofen, or the magic of writing. I feel much better now and I think I will prod on.😁