My brave new world: Spring is here

01:11 I'm so sleepy! but I want to write. I've been so busy working and with other things I feel like if I don't write now I won't do it again for a long time. Spring is here! All of a sudden the whole countryside has just littered in early spring flowers. I really, really love them - they are the most beautiful - 

         

  

they come with hope that everything is going to get better. And this year I determine to do my own gardening. Well, it's simply because I can't find a gardener anywhere. No one seems to want to take on my garden - or to be my gardener - I don't know why? I pay them the same way other people do. But enough about spring. I'm going to get to what I really want to write about. I did try for three days - I didn't send anyone messages - only work related
I didn't video call anyone for three days, besides I didn't listen to any music whilst driving either. What I mean is I really tried to meditate, being mindful and only listened to subliminal music and watch educational, spiritual videos on YouTube.
 And to be honest, I certainly feel like it has a lot of beneficial to me - it really made me feel calm, peaceful and restful. And I have come up with a few things that I want to share. Back when I was at KIA dealer in Norwich to get my car checked up - I was in a very posh car showroom and surrounded by expensive cars and posh looking people which got me thinking that all of those weren't impressed me at all. The thing is, I've never been a person who into cars or brand name stuff or actually anything material wise. I'm not sure if I'm an aesthetic person either.  I do like beautiful things but they don't have to be expensive and I'm not into possession either. I can admire something I don't have to own them Why? They are just more clutter. Anyway, I used to think I'm weird and different and I used to be bashful and try to fit in ...well, I don't do that anymore. I'm going to say I've accepted my authentic self and I don't have to apologise or feel guilty for who I am anymore if I say I think co-dependency is awful, materialism is absolute hideous - it disconnects people from nature and the universe and I can't stand snobs , superficial and pretentious people who seeking validation and attention all the time, then so what? I'm entitled to my own opinion, ain't I?  Having said that I don't care how anyone else want to live their lives and I try not to judge. I believe that everyone is allowed to live their lives the way they want. I only wish they find their own way to be content. All I know is that I know what I want. 

Before I read the book Brave new world, I thought it was some kind of uplifting, new age type of story. I was surprised to find how dark and depressing it is! but I love the title very much. To me, it sounds encouraging and I'm going to have my own brave new world - that is I'm going to be unapologetically myself. I don't care how much money you have in the bank, what car you drive, how expensive it is, how big your house is, what brand name is your clothes and etc. because it's only a shell. When you die you take none of that with you. But I'm not going to be negative about it all as I believe in divine timing and divine purpose. I've assigned myself to be in service to humanity as a payback that life has been so kind to me. And that is my very own brave new world  .....The end